Friday, August 6, 2010

How I Met My Husband

Today, Hubby and I have been married for TWENTY-TWO whole years!  How is that even possible, considering I still feel 21 myself?  It's hard to believe that an 18 y.o. and a 21 y.o. can get married and STAY married these days. It hasn't been easy at times, but I am so glad that we hung in there and made it work.  I've never been happier in my entire life.

A while ago, someone asked me how Marty and I met, so I thought our anniversary would be a great time to tell our story.  This is a little long, but I think it's a pretty interesting, if I do say so myself.

It was 1986 and it was the summer between my Junior and Senior years in high school.  I had been dating "R" for over a year.  R's dad was coaching a girls softball team, and they suckered me into playing.  Two of Marty's sisters (Penny and Tammie) were also playing on the team.  Throughout the weeks of practice and games, I always noticed Marty sitting in the stands, usually playing with Penny's baby.  Since he was playing with the baby, I just assumed he was Penny's husband.  He looked older, like 27 or so, so I really never gave him a second thought.  Since R was bored out of his mind watching us play, he started talking to Marty at every practice.  It was then I found out that Marty was Penny's (and Tammie's) 19 y.o. brother, not Penny's husband.  Boy, did I feel DUMB!

R and Marty started spending all our practice and game time together, becoming fast friends.  Soon, they were spending a lot of time together, even after practice.  I did not like it at all!  Marty was hogging all of my time with MY boyfriend!  Marty and I soon HATED each other!  Marty thought I was a witch and I thought he was a jerk.  We couldn't even be in the same room with each other without making some sort of snarky remarks back-and-forth.  R was caught in the middle and didn't like it at all.  After we would leave Marty's house, all he would say was "Why can't you just TRY to get along with him?"

"NOPE!  Ain't gonna happen!"

This continued through the summer and into the start of the school year.  Since R didn't have a car, I was his chauffeur to Marty's house....every single stinkin' day.  I HATED IT!  But, being the super-sweet, supportive girlfriend I was (HA! I'm sure R would laugh about THAT since he thought I couldn't do anything right) I took him, so he wouldn't gripe and whine would be happy.  Every single day he would say "WHY can't you just try to get along with him?  It would make my life so much easier!"  Yeah, to heck with my life, huh?

One night, we were at Marty's house sitting around playing cards or some sort of game with some of Marty's family, R decided he wanted something to eat.  Since I had the money (as always), it was left to me to go get him something.  R decided he was having too much fun playing, and just told me to go by myself to get the food.  Marty didn't like the idea of me going alone, so he volunteered to drive me.  I was like "WHAT?", but was thankful for the help.

The start of the 20 minute drive started off very awkward, but by the time we made it back with the food, I was laughing hysterically.  We talked and laughed, and laughed, and laughed during the entire trip.  When we walked back in the house, R was like "What's going on?  You two are LAUGHING?"

That night, my feelings changed.  Marty may not be THAT  bad, after all.

The 3 of us continued to spend all of our free time together....except for now, I really didn't mind it.  I jumped at the chance to help my boyfriend out by driving him out to see Marty, because maybe I could see Marty too.  R started noticing that I liked going out there a little too much, so then, he would insist on doing things with Marty without me...much to my dismay.

Then, one October weekend, R had plans to take his mother out for her birthday, so he encouraged me to call Marty and see if he wanted to do something that know, since Marty's life revolved around R and would be so lonely at home alone.  I jumped at the suggestion, and called Marty to see if he wanted to go out on a "date" with me that night....without R.  Marty quickly agreed!  I embarrassed to say, I don't even remember what we did (other than go to the Mall), but I do remember we had a GREAT time.  I had never felt so relaxed and happy around a guy.  I secretly started wishing I could do this more often.

Wait?  What was wrong with me?  I already HAD a boyfriend.  What was I doing thinking about Marty....all.the.time.?  I'm sure the feelings were NOT mutual, so I tried to stop thinking about him.  But it was HARD!

A little while after our "date", we were all at my house and I noticed that Marty was acting really weird.  He was distant, and grumpy and wouldn't even look at me. He said something along the lines of  "I don't need to be around you any more".   I just knew I had done something wrong and I was just heartbroken. We carried Marty home and the tension in the air was thick.  I was outside when R comes out of the house and says "COME ON, WE ARE LEAVING" and heads for the car.  I didn't have a clue what was going on.  R didn't say anything else to me, but I could see that he was mad.  Marty then comes out of the house, looking like he was ready to kill someone, and jumped in his car.  I ran to his car, and jumped in the passenger seat and asked him "WHAT IS WRONG?  Please tell me what I did!"  Marty looked at me and assured me that I didn't do anything wrong, but he had just told R something that would really screw up their friendship.  I ask him "What? What? WHAT?"  He doesn't say anything.  We just sit there (R yelling at me to take him home in the background) and then suddenly I think "Does he feel the same way about me that I feel about him?"

OH. MY. GOODNESS.  That's It!  He like me too!

I look at him and say "I know what you are talking about and I just want you to know that I feel the exact same way about you!"  Marty looks at me and says "Really?"  I said "Yeah, I think I am in love with you."  Marty lets out a bit sigh of relief and gets this huge smile on his face.

He then tells me that's what had been wrong with him earlier and he had just told R that he was in love with me and that's why he was so mad.  We laughed and hugged and suddenly everything just felt "right".  But then, we remember about R, who was still standing my my car waiting for me to take him home.  Marty offers to take R home so I didn't have to deal with him, but I tell him I needed to get it over with.  We say our goodbyes, but just for the night.

On the way home, I didn't tell R about mine and Marty's conversation, but we did agree that things would be better if we both went our separate ways.  The break up went WAY easier than I thought it would.....or so I thought.  By the time I got home, I felt like a different person!  I felt so free, so light, so....happy!  Something that I hadn't felt in a LONG time....since before I started dating R. 

I would like to say that was the whole story, but it's not.  Over the next couple of days, R found out that I broke up with him to be with Marty. Marty had gone to him and told him that he didn't want to hang out with him every day anymore because he wanted to spend time with me.  R did not like that at all.  He didn't give a rip about me breaking up with him, he was just mad because he was loosing Marty's friendship.   R lost it!   He went on a rampage, yelling at me, threatening me and my family, and even locked me in a classroom once.  He tried to make my life a living Hell.  Eventually, my parents, Marty, and the school principal became involved.  It took the threat of physical harm, expulsion,  and jail to make him lay off of me.  Eventually, he quit school and thankfully I didn't have to see him anymore.

In the mean time, Marty and I had our first date as a couple on November 6, 1986.  We talked and talked for hours.  He was my soul-mate.  I couldn't believe that a boyfriend could treat me so well.  I know that you all probably won't believe this, but on that first official date, we set our wedding date: August 6, 1988.

And that's the exactly the day we got married!

(**sigh** I was so young, so skinny.....)

I won't say that our relationship has always been perfect...FAR from it....but I can honestly say that I love Marty more now than I ever have.  He treats me so well, and the best father I could ever want for our children.  In the 24 years we've been together, he's never raised a hand to me, never talked bad about me or to me (except for when we hated each other...haha), has never said one negative thing about my weight or appearance, and has never even looked another woman's way.  He ALWAYS tells me he loves me, even if we are fussing, and would drop everything to be by my side if I needed him.

I LOVE YOU MARTY!  I am so blessed to have you in my life!

Oh, and as a side-note:  A few years ago, I became pretty close with one of R's relatives.  During one conversation, she said "I just can't believe you and R used to date.  That is just too funny."  I really didn't understand what she thought was so funny. Was I not good enough for him or something?   Well, we continued the conversation and that's when I finally realized that R and I would have NEVER worked out.  I wasn't the gender person he was looking for.

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